This has been a slightly disturbing week. Read past these two comic strips from Matthew McAndrews’ Modem Problems to see what I mean…
Well, other than the following, this was a standard week, with the standard things of MMO’s, Work, commuting and health.
But early this week I got email from my eldest sister. It would appear that my Aunt D was just getting out of the hospital and going home after having a cold go a bit far. I felt relieved. Then two days later I got a call from that same sister, Aunt D was in the hospital again and NOT doing well. It was looking REALLY bad. As in maybe only days left for her.
I was in shock. This is my eldest surviving Aunt. ‘Next in line’ after my own departed mother in age. While she and I had never been as close as my youngest Aunt and I, she is still one of those near and dear to my heart. And considering that I still have some lingering guilt from not going straight to the convelsant home that my mother was in when I got ‘the call’ from them… and thus missing being at my Mom’s side when she passed away… the idea of Aunt D passing away before I had a chance to get to her side and let her know ‘we loved her’… it tore me apart,
So, the next morning (tuesday) I went in to work and arranged to take the balance of that day and the next as sick days and go visit my Aunt in the hospital.
Aunt D is in a hospital in Sacramento, and thus Mhari and I got in the car and took the few hours to drive there. Once there I found she was out of her room for a ‘test’ and a ‘procedure’. And when she got back I stayed clear of the room while they got her moved back into her bed and settled and stopped swarming around her. Then finally went in after speaking to one of the doctors.
Oh, lord… it hurt to see her there. She had gotten old and small. She was weak and scared. Very scared. And so alone. Mhari and I spent about an hour there before I just couldn’t stay any longer. And we headed home.
According to the doctor there were things going on that they would try to correct. Their priorities were to get it so she could breath easier, and to make some tests on some growths they had found. But things looked really dire. Though, thankfully, Aunt D was okay mentally, other than being so scared. And I think Mhari and I helpped with the ‘alone’ part.
I continued the next day to consider it a sick day and had nothing to do with work at all. It helpped me get my brain back together. Get some rest. And come to grips with things. Later in the day I called up to my eldest sister, who had promised she would be visiting Aunt D that day. She was lost, having a hard time finding the hospital. Being lost is not unusual on trips for my eldest sister. Poor dear. So I called Aunt D and let her know that my sister was in the area. Thankfully Aunt D sounded stronger, and like her breathing was better. And my eldest sister DID make it there.
On the phone later my Eldest Sister called me… Aunt D’s heart and lungs were good. And Aunt D was stronger. But the growths looked like they may be Cancer. About 90% certain of that. And if not that, then they didn’t know what they were. And all told, the overall prognosis was better than they expected. Rather than being in the ‘days to a week’ catagory, she was moving into the ‘6 months’ one….
So here I am, feeling better (and feeling a little guilty about that) that I had managed to do what I felt I needed to do in visiting Aunt D in the hospital. Let her know ‘we’ loved her. (Meaning ‘me’ but also speaking for my brothers and sisters, as part of the ‘we’.) I also feel sad. For Aunt D, strong fighter of a woman that she is… survivor of so much in her life… has a new fight. One that few her age tend to win. I’m going to try to be supportive. Try to be a better nephew. But I don’t know if I have as much strength as she has…
In any case, I am going to go visit her again tomorrow. And she is hoping to go home next week. Her youngest sister (my youngest aunt) and her sister’s daughter were visiting her when I called yesterday. Aunt D said she wasn’t doing so good but liked the idea of going home. I will call her again today during or just after my lunch.
Naturally this is bringing back memories of my mom. Of going through all this with her. She died of complications from Diabetes. I have the same sort of Diabetes my mom had…
Anyways, of my ‘usual things’ I do in a week… well, I didn’t play any EQ2. I’ve lost interest in it. Sorry Whyaylooh… but if I am going to ‘grind’ XP, I would rather do it with my Mastermind, Commander Kitty, in CoV than my Bruiser in EQ2. I really should have made a healer for EQ2 rather than a ‘DPS/Tank’. Then maybe I wouldn’t feel the way I do about fighting in a duo in EQ2. Just a look of the pleasure went out of it when K&N left. I’ll see if I can get interested again. But right now, going to bed early on Monday and Thursday nights sounds so much better to me.
I also played around with Eve Online during the past two weeks on the free 14-day trial. It’s interesting. And so very much better than it was back when it was in beta. But alone… no, I am not going to subscribe. If K&N&W get involved, then I will, as a replacement for EQ2, if that’s what people want to play. Personally I would rather MXO, SWG or VSH to Eve Online. The reason being that I wouldn’t have to pay extra to play one of those, since I am on station access. Oh, and I followed through with my plans to cancel my WoW account… it’s cancelled. I will likely go back some time. Just if all I was going to do was play solo, no reason to pay for it. There are plenty of solo games I can play.
No Pen & Paper Role-playing this weekend. One of the major players, Ray P, is on a road trip this week. And the character he plays are vital to one of the games. And we all decided we wouldn’t mind skipping this session. Everyone has things they can do. And I will be seeing my Aunt D.
I just want to hide. To bury myself in CoH/V and work. I don’t want to feel right now…
I really do need to think about the rings…